What things about someone would serve as simple signals as to whether you could empathize with them? What would your bellwethers be?
A "bellwether" is a leading or primary indicator of something.
It came up in conversation about the Lord of the Rings; I have friends for whom LoTR isnāt a pinnacle of fantasy.
What of it? To me, LoTR isnāt a bellwether - itās just a series that I highly enjoyed (and continue to enjoy); the fact that I have friends who donāt like the series clearly says that liking LoTR is not a bellwether for me.
The only book that I can think of that would serve as a bellwether is To Kill a Mockingbird. I think if someone actively disliked TKaM, Iād question what it was about them that made me claim them as friends (I donāt think Iād say they werenāt friends, but Iād wonder what was wrong with them.)
Thatās not to say that it would bother me if they didnāt think it was the greatest American book; it wouldnāt. It wouldnāt even bother me if they didnāt like the book - the bellwether would be a sort of dull rage against the book. Someone who actively disliked itā¦ that would be someone with whom Iād question my ability to empathize. Thereād be some resonance in their souls that Iād struggle to understand.
Butā¦ thatās it. Not the Bible, not Night, not Neuromancer, not Enderās Game, not Alas, Babylon, not Luciferās Hammer; all good books, all books I have on my bookshelf in high regardā¦ but if someone doesnāt like them, I shrug my shoulders and move on.
Each one of them has distinct value, in my opinion, but if they donāt resonate with a particular person, so what? Itās their preferences, compared to mine. No big deal.
I wonder, though: what would you say would be your bellwethers? What about someone would turn you off, for real? (If you can come up with a large list - discounting obvious things like āadvocating rapeā or whatever - well, maybe thatās a bellwether for me. A large list of reasons to be unable to empathize with someone says something fundamental about the holder of such a list.)