Here’s the conversation:
“Let’s call it ‘Tom Sawyer.'”
“But the main character’s named Philip MacGillicuddy, and it’s about an invasion of flying robotic robots with lasers that cause impact damage.”
“Hmm, good point. Let’s name the love interest ‘Becky Thatcher.'”
“A taco stand. A man. A plan. Panama. A flying robot invasion that denies every law of physics we can think of. In theaters 2014: Tom Sawyer.”
The script almost writes itself:
PHILIP: I'm almost sort of like Tom Sawyer. The character. In the book. BECKY : Except you're not named Tom, and you're not like him, you coward. BUCKET, a robot that looks like a soda can with a rounded top, enters. BUCKET: Hey! I's a bucket! And I talk jive! Slap yo mama and feed me wingnuts! PHILIP: Ha! Ha! Ha! BECKY : Shut up. PHILIP: Ha! Ha! Ha! BECKY cuts off PHILIP's right hand. BECKY : Philip... I am your- BUCKET: Slap yo mama and feed me wingnuts! ROBOT enters, laser guns blazing, ricocheting laser bolts going everywhere. ROBOT, robotically: I am from the future and I have come for your water, sacks of meat. BUCKET: Slap yo mama and feed me wingnuts! PHILIP: Okay, take it all! BECKY dances for seven long minutes for INJUN JOE, the name I just made up for the ROBOT. A number one pop song, written by JUSTIN BEIBER, plays.
See? It’s perfect!